-I obviously never made it to Fort Benning, I made it all the way through MEPS into the next day. I got to where I get my tickets and SGT. Douchebag says "You have a waiver that didn't clear, you can go home. Do you have a car here?" To which I said "I'm supposed to be gone for three months, why would I have a car here?"
- I got put on inactive status for several months, if you're in for two years and never ship out, they discharge you. So by going inactive, it "pauses" that timeline...
-I moved. Christie and I live with another couple in a house in a familiar neighborhood.
-I got promoted at work to "Production Manager." Fancy way of saying "Keep track of all the paperwork, make sure the product gets out the door on time, but most of all listen to a bunch of people older than me piss and moan like a bunch of little bitches and make them feel better." In exchange, they fixed my car which had been broken down for nearly a year.
-I got engaged (to Christie). On Christmas. I'm superninjatricky so I lined a 6" square box with MDF (heavy wood) and put the ring box in there. After it was wrapped she even picked that one up and said "Oh, it's too heavy..." She had been subtly hinting that she wanted a ring... "Fits on this finger and has a diamond..." And other such hints...
-I got reactivated.
-I went to my first drill since being activated and broke two ribs. It was fun.
-I'm planning a wedding. Well, I'm agreeing with everything Christie says. It's complete insanity. (Weddings are a hustle created by the mob, I'm sure of it.)
-I went to drill again and stood there all weekend at parade rest because I had two broken ribs. It was boring.
-In between all this we've been laying people off left and right at work... About 1 1/2 to 2 years ago we had 68 people in the shop with two shifts. Now we have 14. Not so much fun as stressful.
-I filed taxes. That was fun.
-I got audited by Oregon. That was weaksauce.
- I went to drill and did paintball squad tactics. In two games I killed nine people and was hit once in the arm and once in the forehead. No helmet, right above the mask. That stung. I had to explain to a distraught Christie that if indeed they had been real bullets, it would have deflected off my helmet, and I would have killed the other person first anyway but the freaking wind sends your paintballs all over the place!! She is still not happy about it. We also rappelled off what they claim is the highest wall in the US. 66 feet straight down. THAT was AWESOME.
-I'm starting to do some estimating at work, I will eventually being doing that instead of Production Manager.
-Caden loves Star Wars and randomly hums the Imperial March to himself, also singing whatever he's doing to that tune... "It's time to take my clothes off and be naked and get in the bath, dun dun dun, dun dun dun, dun, dun dun..." All to the tune of Star Wars.
Ok, see y'all next year.
4 comments:
Nicely done.
Can't wait for the 2011 edition
What? It was only 7 or 8 sarcastic comments over the course of a year! Nice post. Simone especially likes the part about Caden singing the Empiral March all the time.
Impirial! Of course that's what I meant!
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